Kadens Last Fight

I would like to thank all of those people who took the time call, visit, send food, clean, set up my Christmas decorations, lights, called, sent flowers, cards, and prayed and thought of us at this time. This is the hardest thing I have had to do. Not only bury my grand baby but watch the pain my daughter is going through without her baby. These past several months have been filled with love and concern first with the problems Jacquie faced during the pregnancy and after Kaden was born. A true Labor of Love for all of us.

On Sunday the 29th of November Rusty called during the early morning hours to say Kaden was not doing well and they were trying to switch him to a different ventilator and start an art line. The needed to be able to measure the pressure in his heart more accurately than they were currently doing. The Dr's could not start the line and Kaden was not responding well to the new vent. They decided to transfer him to St. Joe's by air. Once at St.Joe's they were going to do a procedure called ecmo. It is basically a lung bypass. The blood is filtered out of your body and receives oxygen and is put back in you to help give the lungs a break. The Dr's felt Kaden had a chronic problem and that procedure would not be the best for him. He had a very up and down Sunday but by night they put him back on the conventional vent and he was doing well.

We slept in the waiting room to be close in case of any problems and checked on him throughout the night. He was doing OK but when I went in around 7 the was not keeping his levels up. They were bagging him and decided to put him back on the other vent. His numbers just kept dropping and the Dr's told us he would not make it through the morning. We got all the family there for a prayer and to say our goodbyes. We left Jacquie and Rusty alone and they took Kaden off the vent and they were able to hold him for the first time with out him being hooked up to anything. Jacquie rocked him and he passed away peacefully in the arms of his mommy. He could night fight any longer.

Kaden touched the lives of so many people in his short time here on this earth. He will never be forgotten by those of us who grew to love and serve this little angel. I teased often saying I was tooooo young to be a grandma and I did not want to be known as one but I can honestly say Kaden made me honored to have that as my new title. I was and will always be his Grandma.

The funeral services were held on his 6 month b-day or as Michael calls it his half birthday. We celebrated his life felt his love and the love of our Savior. Jacquie and Rusty spoke at the funeral and did an amazing job of honoring their son. We all felt of their love and they shared with us some of their tender memories of their perfect little boy. At the cemetery we sang a song "I am a Child of God" as we let blue and white balloons go up towards the heavens. We sprinkled rose petals on his tiny casket as they prepared it for burial. We could feel of his love and the Love the Savior must have for each of us.

How do you say good bye to the most perfect little person I will ever know? How do I fill my time that I spent serving him? How do I comfort his mother who aches to hold her baby? How do I tell her it will be all right? How do I fill the whole in my heart that is their now that he is gone? How do I get through loosing some one else I loved so much? I know I will see him again and I know this the will of our Heavenly Father but it still is not easy. I am human. I will miss my grand baby, my buddy, more than anyone will ever know. I long to hold him but for now hold on to the memories I had the blessing of having in his short life.