Im Still Here

I've been Missing in action (Mia) for the last 2 months. I have had a lot of different things on my plate. Worries with Jacquie and the baby seem to be lessened more with each passing day. As my last post states she is having another boy and he will also have a cleft lip. Same side and everything. His ultrasound pictures make him look like Kaden's twin. So cute. We are at 27 weeks and Jacquie can hardly stop looking at him moving around in her belly. She felt Kaden move but was not far along enough to see the tummy move around. It's been great how excited we all are.

Jacquie and Rusty have been living at my mom's since the beginning of Sept as they wait for the house they are buying to close. It is such a cute house with a big BBQ area and nice pool. I'm excited to be able to help with the nursery.

Michael is living with us for a short time while he is saving money and trying to find a place of his own. He is working for Merrill Lynch and is loving it. He puts in so many hours and is happy at the same time.

I have been doing my best to keep my head above water. I have a new calling at church and it keeps me busy. Between the 3 hour block and all my meetings and obligations I spent 19 hours doing church work. I really enjoyed myself. There are things that happen in our lives that we sometimes expect or know that they are going to happen, however this is something that took be by surprise. I have have many feelings of inadequacy, fear and being overwhelmed but I know I am doing His will and it will all work out.

It is so nice that the weather is finally turning into fall here. I love the cool mornings. This time of year brings back the tender memories with Kaden. He was here with us last fall. Dressed like a tigger on Halloween.

Oh how I miss him. Grief is a funny thing. It just sometimes walks right up to you and punches you in the gut when you least expect it. Little reminders that bring a smile some days send you to tears the next. Jacquie has had many people tell her that when she has this baby it will take away the pain of loosing Kaden and it makes her so mad. She describes it best like this...... If you were to loose a spouse and later remarried would that new husband replace the old one????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO You can never replace someone you lose in death. I am glad she finds a way to describe her feelings.

Hopefully life for me will get into a new routine so I don't feel so stressed out and in control of my life. I have been trying to form new habits and i plan to update more often.